ktv again!

hahhaha yeah went to ktv with hfc.
told him that i wanted to shop initially...
but i just wanted to ktv again suddenly.
i guilted him into agreeing even though he was really reluctant coming up with excuses abt tests and all.
i'm crazy and bitchy like that :D

we both have similar taste in music and i know almost every song he likes and vice versa.
there are exceptions of course.
like how he finds "Born This Way" horrible. rowr!
(sidenote: isn't born this way banned in malaysia? i heard it playing in a shopping centre in jb leh)

anyhoo it was really awesome to have a ktv session with a close friend.
cos he knows how i cant sing and doesnt rly mind. just kept on laughing but wtv lah.
not like it is his first time hearing me sing.
and cos we can get super hyper tgt, we were literally screaming at "high" parts of the session.
i cant get this high with other ppl cos i'll be worrying how they'll think im crazy and stuff.
but with ur bff, that's when ur true colour shows. hahahhahaha


we went crazy after singing not myself tonight.
followed by hollaback girl and then party people right after!
all awesome party songs!
we managed to clear the rap part of party people perfectly (with the help of the original singers of course) even though the last time we heard it was ages ago.
i loved the fergie's rapping parts so much that i kept practising it last time.
"all of you haters can kiss a behind. specifically speaking i'm talking about mine!"


session ended off with veronicas- untouched.
wooohooo!
kk i know these songs are a little outdated...but that was the time when we had the time to get crazy and sing those songs in school/ over the webcam.


and any singing schools need people for before/after advertisements?
i am the perfect before candidate! off key in every note i sing :D
sponsor my lessons and i dun mind being filmed throughout them hahhahahahhahaa!







yep she sounds better than me so u can imagine hahhahaha.
i showed somene how i sound and he kept laughing throughout lah! wtf!
right until he said gdnite still making fun of me :(
rowr! evil slut hahhahahha,

decisions

i've always made my own decisions in life.
my secondary school, the subjects to study, cca...i've never allowed my parents to make them for me.
not that they are that interested either.
the only thing they chose for me was my primary sch cos obviously i was too young.


as much as i love my freedome to make my own decisions,
it can be really frustrating if i've too much of a choice.
i would go through the bothersome process of weighing out the pros and cons, researching, seeking advice from seniors for the important ones.
however, more often than not, i would already know what i would choose in the end.


my most recent decision was my new school.
i was going against the wishes of my parents (esp my mom. we argued in the car until dad asked us to end it there and not bring the matter up again), all of my close friends chose to do a levels, i was the only one in my class who chose to pursue a diploma :X


i think the only reason i was "seeking advice" was to prepare them for my decision.
i knew i wasn't going to accept their protests.
it isn't like i made my choice ignoring the negatives.
i knew how they were going to convince me otherwise simply because i have already had the arguement with myself.
their well-intended persuasion will always be rebutted with my well-rehearsed justification.


and of course, i love it when people support my decision.
i would have someone to blame if things don't work out in the end.
as tempting as that sounds, i wont resort to that lah.
i would argue with my supporters also actually and try to see if they've any solutions to overcome the negatives.


i guess what i'm trying to say is that usually, one would have made their minds up before "seeking advice" unless that person has not done sufficient homework himself.
then he'd just be a time-waster who allows others to make decisions for him cos he's too lazy to contemplate himself.


having to hear opposing views can be stressful.
but why should one be so caught up in caring about others' views and give up what one wants to pursue?
it is just foolish to "go crazy" and "feel suicidal" just because you're in a dilemma and everyone's going agaisnt your wishes, right hfc?

should i?

had lunch with hfc and empty today.

shopped with hfc after empty left and met his sis.

shopped for x'mas presents at orchard which is freaking cheapo-looking this year.

it's in such a grotesque purple.

i want it to go back to the snowing theme with classy white throughout!

(oh i've never seen real snow before. i've always have a fantasy of reaching up to the guy i love, going into his embrace and share the kiss of our lives while snowflakes are constantly falling from the night sky. total tw drama scene right! LOL)

anw, didnt buy much despite combing through almost the entire orchard.

we decided to go to nex after that but it was a fruitless trip as well.

shopping's such a good cardio right :P

(i'll find reasons to convince myself that it's perfectly fine to hate running)

we went to Mc's to rest since we were exhausted and thirsty.

and we talked.

he kept asking me abt the sick stuff which i hate talking to friends about irl.

do not, i repeat, do not touch on it again!

i'm really worried that the slut in me would influence them such that they have premature sex or wtv.

please...dont!

anw, panda, hfc and i arent out to empty yet.
(apparently hfc claims to be straight. wtv lah. i really do not care abt any1 elses orientation. unless obviously if that person is the one) 

although we hinted kinda explicitly throughout our steamboat the other day.

the 4 of us wld actually talk abt the guys we like a few years back.

when we were still innocent...or at least they were :X

anyhoo, empty sort of grew out of it?

and we havent talked about our orientation since forever..

the last time we mentioned it, he thinks that it is actually a "growing phase" and we would stop crushing on guys in future.

but since empty and i go way back, same class for 8 years, i've been feeling that it's time i told him.

panda and i were going all out to hint while hfc remained quiet last time.

idk if i should.

i cant bring myself to say it in a normal conversation.

i don't have a bf so i cant just say i'm dating a guy.

neither do i have a slow-trickling water cooler..

hfc's not cool with the idea.

i know panda would want it too, right?!

cos during steamboat, the 3 of has had to communicate about some cute guys and started being very cryptic and empty was left out :X

he pretended to be busy eating lah...i'd have felt damn awkward also.

but how?!

how does one come out?!

i feel like writing this blog link in my x'mas card for him...but it has all the sexual stuff.

i dun think he'd be able to digest it since hfc said that even panda is shocked.

how :(

it's like, if it's that diffi to come out to even a bff of 8 freaking years...

how wld i tell others in futere :X

or issit the longer you know the person, the harder it is to tell?

i will never ever ever ever x9999999 come out to my parents.

unless they find out on their own or ask me; i'd never initiate it.

the plan is to rent a house and move in with my future bf as soon as i have a stable income

:D:D:D:D

had awfully chocolate ice-cream just now.

freaking awesomely rich ahhhhh!

super guilty though :(

signals

HFC, panda and empty came over to my place.

it's like their first visit to my new place since i moved last year.

had steamboat and mahjong session.

buhahhha.

empty went home and the rest are sleeping right now.

the 3 of us went for a little walk arnd my district earlier on.

i needed to use the restroom so they waited in the petrol kiosk while i relieved myself.

after i came out, and asked them to continue walking, i noticed the cashier smiling at me (or maybe at us but i'd be delusional and think it was just me).

he picked up an apple and did this:

with a seductive grin of course.

i smiled and looked away, pretending to be engrossed in our conversation.

was telling them what i noticed and HFC could sense that he was ~ too.

i guess it was kinda obvious.

even with a rosak (yay i used malay in my post) gaydar like mine,  if i'd to harp on the fact we weren't even customers and yet he still smiled so intently at us , his orientation is so perceivable.

but what was i to do?

go up to him?

then what?

introduce myself?

compliment him?

slip him a note with my number?

i simply do not have the temerity to do that.

what did i do?

i threw a smile, as we walked out of the petrol station.

but i noticed his eyes was still on me!

i turned, knowing i wouldnt approach him, and rejoined the conversation.

so i was telling them this would be all easier if i had an iphone.

GRINDR!

and one of them said: huh now the apps so zai ah? can sense gayness?

how should one respond to sent signals in daily life?

i'd imagine that it's different from responding to guys in showeroom for lalala...

eyeing is sufficient; i dont need verbal communication for that. (not that i'm inept in that)

 but for signals sent for other purposes, the recipient would have to muster a huge amount of courage to provide the wanted response, wouldnt it?

p.s. he was tall and blonde. not eye-candy cute but passable though.

let down your hair

went to watch this with HFC

we sat at "couple seats".

HAHAHA

 cashier: ok only red and light blue seats are available.

me: oh ok the red ones(special) at the top right hand corner

HFC: eh what is special ah?!

cashier: er..couple seats

HFC: eeeeeeeeee! then dun wan alr lah!

me: wth idc not like anyone will care 

HFC: I DONT WANT!

me: aiyah nvm one lah, the seats are more spacious oso what!  ok we'll take that 2 seats

*looks at cashier and he kept laughing

i insisted on the seats cos it was further from the screen.

the rest of the seats are kinda crappy.

i've watched a movie sitting in the front row before and it was horrendous! 

neck pain like hell.

now that i think of it, 2 guys sitting at couple seats watching rapunzel is akin to wearing a neon sign that says

"WE ARE GAY!"

hehe
p.s. movie's good! but i still like sleeping beauty better :)

~

apparently i'm showing symptoms of Cholestasis which is reduction or stoppage of bile flow.

of course this is just a self-diagnosis via google.

i dont want my liver to have problems omg.

*prays that symptoms will disappear*
 

Shop and dine with HFC

i wanted to swim today. seriously.

i've told myself i needed to slim down before the school term starts.

i really need to lose weight!

so i prepped myself up and left the house.

before that, i was contemplating if i shld leave a little later.

the sun was scorching!

and i'm alr tanned enough.

but guess what. right when i was about to reach the swimming complex,

it started storming.

like wtf. there were thunder and lightning.

was super disappointed lah. 

luckily HFC called.

cos i asked earlier if he wanted to swim with me but he said he'd prefer jogging.

so i was like, ok then imma go alone and got on the bus.

midway, he called and said, "there's no way i'm going to run in this humid condition"

(it rained previously over at his area but stopped)
me: oh ok then i shall go to ur place and swim

when taking the mrt over, he called, "eh i think the rain is coming back"

FML

yep, so we spent the evening walking around the mall instead.

walked past Mc's.

they've new sundae flavour! 

LOL

i got reminded of tuls's food fight.

was the sundae you refused to eat like that?

ok lah idk, i didn't like the taste.

it's green apple flavoured.

hot fudge is still the nicest!

but still, it's good to try new food ok!

i think i'd try to eat insects once.

it'll be fun!

but only those that are deep-fried without foul tastes?

saw this at the supermarket.

it's really baby crabs deep-fried and seasoned.

cute right?!

idk if it's cruel.

but i wanted to try it!

didnt buy cos i was poor and it was freaking $5.50 per pack.

rowr

~

it has been long since i've dinnered with HFC.

we used to go for dinner every weekend and it's awesome.

he's like super hilarious.

apparently, he li jia chu zuo-ed (ran away from home) last weekend or smth.

and he spent the whole night outside...sleeping in a bus-stop.

he is damn da dan can?!

i'd have died if i had sleep on the streets.

if not because of the lizards in the bus-stops, i'd die of embarrassment.

idk about you, but i'll never mistreat myself like that.

if i were to run away from home, i will make sure i've enough cash for me to book a hotel room.

since young, i've always been...narcissistic?

in the sense that i'd always want the best for myself.

so whenever i've quarrelled with my parents and i'm angry at them,

i would not go on a hunger strike like some idiots do. :X

i'd order the most expensive thing there is at the hawker centre, which would most of the time be those cheapo jap food.

incur my wrath? 

pay for it! literally.

(and yes, that explains my fats)

anw guess what was the reason HFC ran out?

HFC's father: EH ___(hfc's sister) sings really well!

HFC's mom: of course lah! she's from choir leh...

dad: but HFC oso wat...

then it escalated into some big quarrel in the car before he threw his phone in the car and ran off?!

HFC even hurled vulgarities at them?

and you know what? HIS MOM JOINED IN!

mom: eh dont think i dunno how to swear. FUCK YOUR PENIS.

we were having dinner and i HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

like seriously.

people stared at me and i had to cover my mouth to stop laughing.

:)  he's awesome.

and HFC if u are reading this, can u like stop running away from home?

(the last time i heard he ran away without slippers. -.-)

and if u really have to, bring ur phone and call me ok...dun stay outside alone!