wassup bitch

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:
wassup bitch

lmo says:

sky

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:
wat sky

lmo says:

nvm

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

what sky

lol

lmo says:

*Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

*wassup bitch

*lmo says:

*sky

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

yes

what sky?

LOL

i dont get u

i ask u wuts up

lmo says:

NVM

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

what has that got do with sky?

JUST SAY

lmo says:

.........

u rly dun geddit ah

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

duh

so tell me

lmo says:

where's the sky?

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

._.

upstair

then

wtdf

just say

--

lmo says:

...

wat did u ask?

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

WASSUP BITCH

lmo says:

SO THE SKY IS UP LAH DUMBO

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

what

up

lol

wtf

lmo says:

GOD

OMG

NVM

Believe me, I have the worst intentions. says:

oh

lol

lame

 ~

god it's the first time i've to explain it out.
WTF
to think he's the same astrological sign as me.

2010's coming to an end tml.
i've no plans @ midnight.
sad life?
where's my oh so beloved but non-existent "bf"?

LOL
dear santa, there are 12 days of x'mas.
5 days have passed...
tick tock tick tock

x'mas 2010

so yeah i spent my x'mas with my family and some distant relatives this year.

we stayed in a chalet on some islet for three days with nth much to do.

i ate, slept, mahjonged, fished (didnt catch any this time but i did the on my previous visit. i even released the struggling fish from the hook. gross :X) and bbq-ed.

an auntie an i were teaching my mom and other cousins/ aunties how to MJ!

we were teaching and playing at the same time, looking at their tiles and telling them which tiles to discard to increase their chances of winning.

and erm, let's call her Auntie N, said, "wow i've learnt how to play only after one session...i'm such a genius right?"

she didn't even say it in a joking tone.

god, she's one of those ostentatious act tai tai kind.

cant stand ttm.

oh well, she's the only auntie i don't like.

luckily our relationship is quite distant; he's my dad's cousin or smth and we do not have to see each other often.

her son's no better.

the first thing he said when he saw me was, "OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!"

i just ignored him.

wtf, cant i have a pimple outbreak :X

(i just bought 30 masks online @ $16. waiting for it to be sent from korea heheheheheh. any good products to recommend?)

but my x'mas wasnt spoilt cos of them.

cos the rest of the people were awesome.

and gosh, i just found out from siao eh that my uncle (let's call him jojo) admitted to law that he's gay.

because of a long line of offspring, my late grandfather had siblings that are way younger than him, such that one of his bro is just a little older than my dad.

thus, my dad's uncle and him have children of similar ages.

but in fact, jojo's one "rank"/ "generation" above me and i'd have to call him uncle.

(idk if you guys understand but if not, just ignore and know that jojo's my distant uncle who's three years my senior.)

anyhoo, jojo went to the same high school with law and i realised that when i was stalking law on fb.

then i told siao eh about them (before he got hacked) and he reported jojo's confession to me recently.

alson, jojo's fb indicates that he is in a rls with a guy!

gosh gosh gosh so awesome! 

but hmmmmmmm idk how i'll confront him.

soooo fun!!! 

maybe during cny, i'll down him a few drinks and dig the cat out of his bag.

*prays that such an opportunity will arise*

ohoh and rmb P? 

jojo works under P's sister in a restaurant.

P and i even went there to kope ice-cream last time.

the aj world is really a small one, in SG at least.

relationships

siao eh smsed me on x'mas!

hahahhaa.

i added him uber long ago.

but sum1 hacked into his accnt and he sent an sms informing his online friends abt what happened but when i asked him for his new accnt he didnt reply!

wtf right.

anw i kept scolding him cos of this but he said, "oh well at least i rmbed you on x'mas"

but later, i found out he was doing spring cleaning while everybody else was celeberating...so it's no wonder he rmbed.

 he's attached, but his bf, let's call him law, has been avoiding him recently.

replying lesser and lesser...

not picking up calls...

havent met up for a month...

let alone sex.

ok idk call me horny but good sex is integral for a successful and lasting relationship.

i hate such people.

i ended my last relationship cos of the same thing.

only that i didnt see him for 2 weeks and he didnt reply my sms-es even though i issued an "ultimatum",

i just cant stand it.

(btw he pm me recently but i cldnt be bothered to exchange anything more than pleasantries)

if you dont wanna be together anymore, just fucking say so.

i appeal to every reader (however pathetically few there are),

if you feel that it's time to move on...

please do not just leave your bf hanging;

END IT PROPERLY!

closure's very much appreciated.

and erm of course this only applies for those who intends to end their rls,

hopefully i wont witness anymore breakups.

there are already so few aj couples that i know of.

~

anyhoo, i rmbed how "emo" i was previously.

last year, i wld go counting the number of x'mas wishes i received and feel depressed about the small number.

i dont give a fucking shit this year :)

still, i'm glad some ppl rmbed me and sent their wishes!

sidenote: will post abt xmas with family and lent soon.

pathetic

t-rex says:
*lolo
*從前有個人叫阿爽。 他死掉了。 出殯那天。 他的家人哭喊：「 爽啊……爽啊！」 路人不解，問道：「你們爽什麼啊？」 家人痛哭流涕：「爽死了……爽死了!!」

lmo says:

*.__.

*lala

*im bored!

    t-rex says:
*lili
*want to learn french?
*Bonjour

lmo says:

*bonjour

*foei gras

 t-rex says:
*escargots
*delifrance
*french fries

lmo says:

*LOL

*k wat abt jap?

*konichiwa

  t-rex says:
*I KNOW
*takashimaya
*yoshinoya
*daiso

lmo says:

*KONIYAKU

*WAIT

*I MEAN KINOKUNIYA

*LOL :x

 t-rex says:
*still got what ar
*TOYOTA

lmo says:

*HONDA

t-rex says:
*MITSUBISHI

lmo says:

*HYUANDAI

*OOPS HYUNDAI

*SAMSUNG

t-rex  says:
*samsung is meh

lmo says:

*i think so

*oops samsung is korean :X

t-rex  says:
*Hahah
*i know more
*YAOI
*HENTAI
*BUKKAKE

lmo says:

*HAHHAHAHHAHA

t-rex  says:
*all japan

lmo says:

*GROSSSSSSS

*wat is yaoi?

t-rex says:
*:-O You dont like ar
*bye
*LOL
*gay porn i think

lmo says:

*i dun like bukkake so grossss!

t-rex says:
*変態　 < hentai
*is porn
*so yaoi shld be gay porn

lmo says:

*oh

*such a pro

*LOL

t-rex is learning jap and french in school simulataneously.
it's incredible!
if it were me, i'd be confused as hell and go around saying...
"bonjour! watashiwa LMO des. voulez vous croucher avec moi?" :P

and yep, my life is that pathetic now.

no flings, no bf, no whatever.

that guy did msn me though :D

i can't help that my posts are so boring.

hfc and panda were asking me to go have some flings so there will be more interesting updates.

what awesome friends .__.

signing out...

will be away till sun on some small islet in SG.

:D

x'mas with family!

crap, i haven't packed.
and sigh, there's no way of santa fulfilling my wish.
unless...there's an aj at the chalet next door...but what are the chances?

~

i've been watching...
pao mo zhi xia (summer's desire)

DA S (barbie hsu) is as awesome as ever!
i've been watching her shows since meteor garden.
ok fine, the only other drama i've watched with her acting in it is corner with love.
seems as though she will always receive characters who are easily pitiable.

sidenote, the guys are hot tooo
hehehe :D

Merry Christmas!

lmo

match

i think i've finally met my match when it comes to games.

(12:24 AM) Lent: ehhh we moan tgt now leh

i wnana cum

before i slp 

(12:24 AM) boredom: dun want

tease u

till tml 

(12:24 AM) Lent: :(

(12:24 AM) boredom: hehe

and my dad 

(12:24 AM) Lent: u dun give me prelude 

(12:24 AM) boredom: juz came out 

(12:24 AM) Lent: tmr i dun go 

(12:24 AM) boredom: to the living room

(12:24 AM) Lent: u go room and moan lah 

(12:24 AM) boredom: dun wan

can hear!

wtf 

(12:25 AM) Lent: wah lao

let me slp nice nice 

(12:25 AM) boredom: if u tml really dun wan 

(12:25 AM) Lent: then tmr got energy wad 

(12:25 AM) boredom: then ok lor

nvm then 

(12:25 AM) Lent: lolol

trying to

use ji jiang fa

i dun fall for it lor 

(12:25 AM) boredom: huh?

it's called

yi tui wei jing

LOL 

(12:25 AM) Lent: kkkk 

(12:25 AM) boredom: k ah u say one ah

dun come

bb 

(12:25 AM) Lent: bb

(12:25 AM) Lent is now Offline

~

i half-expected him to return...

but he didnt!

now i'm intrigued.

hahhahahahah

but still, i hope he'll initiate a convo tml.

that way, he'll lose!

:X

i do not think i'll instigate it...

and that is why i'll never have a bf 

LOL.

 oh well,

all's fair in love and war.

 if only chuck bass really exists...

should i?

had lunch with hfc and empty today.

shopped with hfc after empty left and met his sis.

shopped for x'mas presents at orchard which is freaking cheapo-looking this year.

it's in such a grotesque purple.

i want it to go back to the snowing theme with classy white throughout!

(oh i've never seen real snow before. i've always have a fantasy of reaching up to the guy i love, going into his embrace and share the kiss of our lives while snowflakes are constantly falling from the night sky. total tw drama scene right! LOL)

anw, didnt buy much despite combing through almost the entire orchard.

we decided to go to nex after that but it was a fruitless trip as well.

shopping's such a good cardio right :P

(i'll find reasons to convince myself that it's perfectly fine to hate running)

we went to Mc's to rest since we were exhausted and thirsty.

and we talked.

he kept asking me abt the sick stuff which i hate talking to friends about irl.

do not, i repeat, do not touch on it again!

i'm really worried that the slut in me would influence them such that they have premature sex or wtv.

please...dont!

anw, panda, hfc and i arent out to empty yet.
(apparently hfc claims to be straight. wtv lah. i really do not care abt any1 elses orientation. unless obviously if that person is the one) 

although we hinted kinda explicitly throughout our steamboat the other day.

the 4 of us wld actually talk abt the guys we like a few years back.

when we were still innocent...or at least they were :X

anyhoo, empty sort of grew out of it?

and we havent talked about our orientation since forever..

the last time we mentioned it, he thinks that it is actually a "growing phase" and we would stop crushing on guys in future.

but since empty and i go way back, same class for 8 years, i've been feeling that it's time i told him.

panda and i were going all out to hint while hfc remained quiet last time.

idk if i should.

i cant bring myself to say it in a normal conversation.

i don't have a bf so i cant just say i'm dating a guy.

neither do i have a slow-trickling water cooler..

hfc's not cool with the idea.

i know panda would want it too, right?!

cos during steamboat, the 3 of has had to communicate about some cute guys and started being very cryptic and empty was left out :X

he pretended to be busy eating lah...i'd have felt damn awkward also.

but how?!

how does one come out?!

i feel like writing this blog link in my x'mas card for him...but it has all the sexual stuff.

i dun think he'd be able to digest it since hfc said that even panda is shocked.

how :(

it's like, if it's that diffi to come out to even a bff of 8 freaking years...

how wld i tell others in futere :X

or issit the longer you know the person, the harder it is to tell?

i will never ever ever ever x9999999 come out to my parents.

unless they find out on their own or ask me; i'd never initiate it.

the plan is to rent a house and move in with my future bf as soon as i have a stable income

:D:D:D:D

had awfully chocolate ice-cream just now.

freaking awesomely rich ahhhhh!

super guilty though :(

random irc visit

<do_u_wann> hi
<^hiya> hi
<do_u_wann> can i ask u like frank
<^hiya> ?
<do_u_wann> ... u here for like business
<^hiya> ?
<do_u_wann> people meet up for money
<do_u_wann> so wanna know
<do_u_wann> if u are like
<do_u_wann> looking out for money for fun
<^hiya> oh no i'm like
<^hiya> here to like
<^hiya> get mistaken for like
<^hiya> wanting to do such a thing
<^hiya> by like
<do_u_wann> no dude
<^hiya> people like u
<do_u_wann> ya
<do_u_wann> sorry man
<do_u_wann> please dont misunderstand
<do_u_wann> juat askin
<do_u_wann> very sorry if i hurt u
<do_u_wann> i dont mean any offence
<do_u_wann> i meat like 3 people

<do_u_wann> any ways
<do_u_wann> where r u from
<do_u_wann> u dont wnna talk
<do_u_wann> forget abt the begining .. it was not for u
<^hiya> like no? bye
<do_u_wann> sorry
<do_u_wann> buddy
<do_u_wann> i am sorry

not that i don't use "like" a lot myself...
he just started off on the wrong foot and irritated me.
yeah i'm small gas lah ok.

and i absolutely hate it when people go "hey bro", "hey buddy" etc.
seriously, i dont even know you and why the hell are you self-proclaiming your relationship with me.

~

<`hi(his school)> hi mind intro
<^hiya> hi (intro: age, race, height, weight. refer below)
<`hi(his school)> hi 17c 184 64
<^hiya> hi (his name)?
<`hi(his school)> lmo>
<^hiya> HAHAHAHAHA
<`hi(his school)> lololol
<`hi(his school)> icic
<^hiya> YOU YOURSELF "MIND INTRO"; LAST TIME STILL LAUGH
<`hi(his school)> LOL Hahah forgt uh
<`hi(his school)> long time nv come liao

i'm working on a post about IRC (sgboy).

too tired to write nowadays...hehe.

soon bah.

why isnt there any hot guys on my roof?

work

working at the same shopping mall as the previous,

but for another company.

got the job thru networking with aunties LOL!

i'm auntie sha shou!

HHAHAHHA.

cos work was really boring the other day, then i started talking to the different aunties around my area.

one of them turned out to be my classmates relative.

she even helped me find my current job as i told her i wanted to work on weekdays as well, but sadly, my current job's only one day more than the previous.

it's slacker though, and the auntie i'm working for is super hilarious.

she herself would slack and play iphone games...she's addicted to the smurfs games or something and talked to me about it.

gosh, i felt so behind time!

I WANT MY IPHONE.

but i think i wld most probably get an ipod touch since it's much much cheaper and i wldnt have to get the $36/month plan for it.

anw, i was smsing AN throughout the afternoon cos it was really boring.

told him there were two new promoters and asked if i should flirt with them LOL.

i did...around evening period cos i was really bored ttm.

one of them was really hot. like super muscular body and all.

i thought he was at least the same age as me but he turned out to be younger!

like totally wtf.

the other guy was quite cute i guess...

could tell from his slight but inherent accent that he's from china.

been here since P1, currently holds a gpa of 4.0 (in poly year 1 lah but still impressive k)

joined sg youth flying club and is an aspiring pilot seh!

i managed to ask him out to have break tgt tml! 

HAHHAHAHA.

but yeah...dun think he is ~.

sad.

oh and i saw a gay couple again!

they walked past my stall but i had to attend to some old fogey.

FML.

hahahhahahha i think from all my sightings of gays it's obvious that i'm desperate and searching for guys on the streets.

or maybe i've just an over-observant person by nature?

HAHHAHAHHA jkjk.

ohoh there were 2 theft cases today.

there was one the last time i was there also.

it's uber dramatic...i witnessed a guy being held captive by 6 men who dragged him into the office.

that guy was tearing and judging from his countenance, he was on the verge of going berserk.

tearing and resisting but to no avail.

gosh, i actually felt sorry for him.

moral of story: stealing is wrong...see a psychologist if you are a kleptomaniac.

or at least grow some brains and steal at someplace where there aren't security cams -.-

for the record, as big as hypermarkets are, there are cameras around.

and if you wanna steal, choose something valuable and worth the risk.

some china girl got caught for stealing a bottle of bioessence thingy? 

like she would have died without it.

trevvy pickup

hehe just logged in to trevvy and saw a new msg.

like finally! it's about time LOL

anw it went...

i happen to dislike gossip girls or anything like it. haha my msn is xxx@Hot.

i dont know, i just find him very...er "interesting"?

i mean, normally, when people message others on these sites, they would state some common interests so that the other person will be intrigued and reply right?

instead, he did the exact opposite of stating his distaste for something i mentioned in my introductory paragraph that i loved.

added him on my junk msn anw cos i was bored.

turned out he was seeking fun lol.

-.- 

i still dont see wat is the point of mentioning his dislike if all he wants is to bed me?

~

 hi u r so cute...Keen to meet up for fun? Stay? Place free? Msn id? HP?

Muacks...
>.<

i would have replied if i were horny at that point haha.

but no.

~

hi boi
can i know u?
can i make love to u?

 this is obviously from some paedo uncle.

idk why, i find others calling me "boy" derogatory.

 it's like, that person is out to belittle me or something.

~

hello mind be fried ??? add me msn?? xxx@hotmail.com

haha i just realised how important spelling is HAHAHHAA.

YES I MIND BEING FRIED.

i've enough oil in me and would very much prefer my skin to be smooth and not crispy,

though i wouldnt mind the golden brown.

didnt add him cos i cant stand his abuse of  ???
it's fine when u are using it to indicate the intensity of your statement but it's irritating if you use it after every line.

and i cant stand people who go "mind be", "mind intro", mind mind mind
totally wtf.

oh and speaking of "mind intro", i find it super rude when people ask that before even introducing themselves.

 isn't it basic courtesy to introduce yourself first before asking another person to do it?

but somehow people think otherwise in trevvy.

~

seek a MAN wo lik being rape like a MAN

i think this is the most hilarious of them all.

it doesn't even make sense.

if i were to reply and agree to have sex, how would it be rape?

if he wanna rape a real "MAN", he can just find anyone on the street wat.

come trevvy and mail people for what.

-.-

:(

so depressing right.

i rarely get mails on trevvy, and yet there are still undesirable ones.

then others are just plain boring.

it's quite diffi to write a satisfactory pickup mail actually.

i would usually relate to something on his profile and include my msn.

havent really failed before i think hahahhaha.

but idk what happened after that...nowadays i nv talk to them alr.

not fun ...haix..

dear santa, xmas is next week!

time to deliver the pressie alr!

hahahahhaahahah

lalala

READ: http://news.xin.msn.com/en/singapore/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4523160

quote: SINGAPORE: A 47—year—old unemployed man was fined S$3,000 on Tuesday for performing fellatio on another man in a public toilet in Citylink Mall.

lol that guy's damn suay lah.
so yeah ppl, have to be more careful.
anw i wonder who tipped the police off...so super kaypoh.
and yeah, i knew that place was a hotspot...
i actually researched about cruising places before last time HAHHHAAHHAHA.

~

went for KTV with classmates.
I DIDN'T THINK THEY WILL ASK ME TO GO AGAIN.
cos the last time, i kept hogging the mic.
and yeah, I CANT FUCKING SING.

seriously, i wouldnt even ask myself out for a ktv session.
i'd go off tune :(
no actually, i will sing in a monotonous voice.
WHY?!
someone give me singing lessons LOL.
to think i was in choir in primary school...

anw, i hogged the mic again that day.
COS THEY ALL DONT WANNA CHOOSE SONGS OKAY.
i not that bu yao lian one lor...ok lah maybe at times.
but wat was i to do?
just sit there and waste time?
since they didnt choose i chose mine lor.
then i kept asking them to choose also...like after every song cos sing too much throat will pain wat.
HAHAHHAHA.
anw some did choose. others didnt. i sang the most. and i was the most out of tune.
and i chose songs that most people will know lor, so they sang along oso.


I WAS DAMN HAPPY WITH MYSELF COS WE SANG CELINE DION'S TAKING CHANCES...
then got one part is damn high and diffi to sing and i think i managed it!
 (the other guy was like..."ahh this part i dun wanna sing so diffi" :D)

"somewhere underneath your SKIN!!!!"

 *glass shatters*

MSN bad habit

AN says:
*then
*i think typing and hitting enter the next thing instead of space is becoming a really bad habit of mine
*LOL
*applies to you as well

LMO says:
*i also!

AN says:
*hahah

LMO says:
*just now

AN says:
*see, ur at it again

LMO says:
*i never put on "bz" mode
*then i realised how irritating it is
*when the thing keeps ringing and ringing
*cos the
*wj

*also

AN says:
*HAHAHA, my msn all the sound off one leh, even sign in alert, I THINK THE ALERTS FUCKING IRRITATING
*and i receive like 100 emails a day

LMO says:
*HHAHAHAHHA IKR

P

i worked as a promoter for the weekend.
it was so god-damn boring but at least no one cared about me slacking off.
went to bitch with the working aunties in the area hahahhahaha!

i even found some job openings through one of them.
but still, no weekday jobs!

anw, i was posted to the same shopping centre that P is working in.
i added P from trevvy (cos the superficial me tot he was cute) and we got on quite well.
we webcammed (face to face only altho he was shirtless most of the times but he's super skinny so nth much) and at one point of time, we'd keep the webcam on from evening till late when we wanna go to bed.
he'd call me with his house phone and we'll chat till we we sleep.
then sometimes we'll start moaning together randomly...no phonesex though.
and one day, he said "i love you" on msn.
i was shocked and taken aback by this sudden statement and i gave the worst reply ever:

don't you think we should meet first and see how the chemistry is between us?

(we were already talking about meeting before this actually)

so we went out.
to orchard.
caught a lame movie and had dinner.
i actually brought a jacket so it's easier to cover up if we're gonna hold hands or smth in the cinema,
which we did...
when the movie was about to end.
-.-
i asked him why he reached for me so late into the movie and he replied that it was because i wrapped myself in the jacket and he thought i didnt want to.
:(

so yeah, after dinner, he told me he was gonna meet a friend.
idk i was kinda disappointed as we could have gone home together.

the day was quite a let down overall.
firstly because the weather was scorching hot, we were supposed to see a horror movie but his sis bought  wrong tickets for us, his hands were nothing but cold in the movie, we were both sian diao as the dinner place was smoky and unconducive for chatting.

when we reached home, he called and asked if something went wrong.
told him all that and he said he'll take more initiative next time.
(i know i keep expecting others to have initiative and this is super hypocritical but i really like guys who can take the lead)
so yeah, things got on normally, no one mentioning about steading though but there were the usual sweet sms-es and calls.
then one day, i decided the sms-es and calls were taking too much of my time and i needed to study for my exams and told him that we should hold this.
until my exams are over.

my exams were long gone but yesterday was my first time seeing him again.
we didn't contact at all until yesterday when we exchanged the usual pleasantries.
he seemed different, smiling much more radiantly than previously.
so full of confidence while he talked to me.
not the a tat too clingy kind of guy he was previously.
at that period of time, i was a little clingy too...needed someone to help me de-stress etc hahaha
i had also analysed his personality last time, as i would with most other people,
and found that he isn't exactly the perfect one.
for one, he's too introverted and reserved.
i need someone outgoing, assertive and loud .
but he was mature at least, and has a job, something i find very attractive.
so i thought that perhaps it could work.

but yeah,
right now, when we're both more sane,
we aren't even talking to each other.
-.-
i know i can just sms him but i've gone to say hi straight in his face.
i even asked him to have lunch with me through sms and he replied,
"my manager cooks for us and im eating in".
wtf.
for a guy who "loved me", he couldnt spend that 1hr with me.
hahahahhaahhaa.
oh well
some of us use "love" too freely.
"those three words are said too much"

p.s. i saw three gays on the bus home today.
there was a couple arnd my age who was so strikingly obvious as they did not bother to cover up.
another was deduced from the way he dressed...altho his shows SHOES did not match his outfit so it was quite weird.
still, gaydar was beeping.
hahahahahha.
and i realised he got off at the same bus-stop as me and was walking to another block of flats!

frivolous?

 i just talked to a friend who's in ns currently.

we havent chatted for a long time cos of my exams and his ns, i found out he still likes the same straight guy.

cute/hot/nice straight guys are really curses to gays.

it's the one of the most depressing thing to hearing friends rant about how much they like that straightie and about how distressed they feel as the apple of their eyes would never reciprocate.

the only thing more saddening than that is to actually fall for a straightie yourself.

i have always had more than one crushes.

it's as if i'm unable to control my heart/brain.

so while my HFC/ panda have been crushing on their same respective guy for the past year or so, i've had countless.

frivolous?

maybe.

i admit, i do get bored easily.

BUT,

those are just crushes/eyecandies.

i've not really fallen for anyone of them...as they are all straight and my brain tells me that it'll be pointless and heartbreaking if i fall too deeply.

(i'm not saying ppl like them are brainless...just that their "heart" rules and dominates instead. 

ok lah i've to agree with slut that the heart is just an organ to carry out circulation. 

for feelings, attraction, love, it should be controlled by a certain part of the brain while pragmatic thoughts by another?)

whatever it is, i've always found it easy to suppress my feelings just by rationalising.

i don't think there aren't many guys that will make me fall heads over heels for them.

i really don't know.

sometimes, i believe that i'm unable to stay faithful for long.

i really hope not.

as much as i believe change is a necessity,

as easily bored as i get,

i really want that guy to be a constant in my life,

wherever and whenever he may appear.

sometimes when reading and immersing myself in the overwhelming sweetness of the actions/words tuls and bubu bestow each other with, there's that small but piercing tinge of sourness.

dont get me wrong, i love their blogs and i'm happy for them.

it's just...

I WANT MINE.

hehehehe

~

soprano voices truly impresses me

signals

HFC, panda and empty came over to my place.

it's like their first visit to my new place since i moved last year.

had steamboat and mahjong session.

buhahhha.

empty went home and the rest are sleeping right now.

the 3 of us went for a little walk arnd my district earlier on.

i needed to use the restroom so they waited in the petrol kiosk while i relieved myself.

after i came out, and asked them to continue walking, i noticed the cashier smiling at me (or maybe at us but i'd be delusional and think it was just me).

he picked up an apple and did this:

with a seductive grin of course.

i smiled and looked away, pretending to be engrossed in our conversation.

was telling them what i noticed and HFC could sense that he was ~ too.

i guess it was kinda obvious.

even with a rosak (yay i used malay in my post) gaydar like mine,  if i'd to harp on the fact we weren't even customers and yet he still smiled so intently at us , his orientation is so perceivable.

but what was i to do?

go up to him?

then what?

introduce myself?

compliment him?

slip him a note with my number?

i simply do not have the temerity to do that.

what did i do?

i threw a smile, as we walked out of the petrol station.

but i noticed his eyes was still on me!

i turned, knowing i wouldnt approach him, and rejoined the conversation.

so i was telling them this would be all easier if i had an iphone.

GRINDR!

and one of them said: huh now the apps so zai ah? can sense gayness?

how should one respond to sent signals in daily life?

i'd imagine that it's different from responding to guys in showeroom for lalala...

eyeing is sufficient; i dont need verbal communication for that. (not that i'm inept in that)

 but for signals sent for other purposes, the recipient would have to muster a huge amount of courage to provide the wanted response, wouldnt it?

p.s. he was tall and blonde. not eye-candy cute but passable though.

swimming irritants

cant stand some imbeciles/ nincompoops/ ignoramus in the pool.

there are a few that really irritates the hell out of me.

1) the unautomatic blockers

 *blue lines are those little buoys held together by a rope

*white lines are the lines drawn on the ground to separate lanes

*red represents irritants

so yeah, unautomatic blockers will stand at the wall and talk non-stop.

even if you are approaching, they wouldnt get out of the way.

it's damn idiotic cos i always like to kick the wall and propel myself forward.

they should at least like allow space for incoming people.

2) ppl who go against the flow

 ok i'd understand if that person is just wanting to cross over to the other lanes

but cant they do it near the wall so i'd not have to stop halfway.

3) ppl who sit on/pull down buoys

like wtf is their problem. 

adding to the obstruction when the pool is already so crowded.

but they'll be scolded by the lifeguards anw. buauahhahaa.

4) swimming classes

 ok i was one of the little dots a few years back.

:X

but erm it really isnt the students fault.

cant the sports council or wtv designate certain pools for teaching and others for people who really wanna swim only?!

 i will always swim in the centre lanes cos the sides will always be filled with little kids.

it got super congested today.

so, a lifeguard proposed this:

we were supposed to swim in a circular motion as the arrows depicts.

but it doesnt work AT ALL.
i find it super dumb and moved to the side lane where the little kids are learning.

grrrr.

so yeah. i hate swimming in crowded places.

why cant i be rich enough to own a private pool.

:(

let down your hair

went to watch this with HFC

we sat at "couple seats".

HAHAHA

 cashier: ok only red and light blue seats are available.

me: oh ok the red ones(special) at the top right hand corner

HFC: eh what is special ah?!

cashier: er..couple seats

HFC: eeeeeeeeee! then dun wan alr lah!

me: wth idc not like anyone will care 

HFC: I DONT WANT!

me: aiyah nvm one lah, the seats are more spacious oso what!  ok we'll take that 2 seats

*looks at cashier and he kept laughing

i insisted on the seats cos it was further from the screen.

the rest of the seats are kinda crappy.

i've watched a movie sitting in the front row before and it was horrendous! 

neck pain like hell.

now that i think of it, 2 guys sitting at couple seats watching rapunzel is akin to wearing a neon sign that says

"WE ARE GAY!"

hehe
p.s. movie's good! but i still like sleeping beauty better :)

~

apparently i'm showing symptoms of Cholestasis which is reduction or stoppage of bile flow.

of course this is just a self-diagnosis via google.

i dont want my liver to have problems omg.

*prays that symptoms will disappear*
 

too early

i knew what sex was in primary 1 (7 years old)
and i actually told my parents about it. my definition was "a guy and a girl hugging and kissing on a bed"

i've watched my first porn when i was 10.
discovered masturbation around that time too.
i'd search on yahoo "men totally naked" and would be totally turned on by those pics.
it was until i found out there were porn videos that i discovered how great it felt to cum.
i was rubbing just as that guy was in the vid and there was like the peeing sensation but i continued to stroke even faster.
when it came out, it was pure bliss for a while; after that i thought i urinated in my pants and ran to the toilet.
come to think of it, i think my first time cumming was one of my best.

someone blew me when i was 10.
i was at the library toilet and noticed a guy with a hard on at the urinal.
i stared.
he looked at mine too.
then i went to wash my hands and continued staring at him through the mirror.
he then signaled me to go into the cubicle and i had my first understall experience.
it was my 2nd or 3rd time cumming and when i did, i stood up immediately and tried to get it in the toilet bowl as i still thought i urinated on his hands. i actually apologized.
when we came out of the toilet and were washing our hands, he asked if i had a number.
i was contemplating if i should give my house phone (didnt have a hp then) but decided against it.
i only knew years later that he is a paedophile.

had a bf  and my first anal experience when i was 16.
ok this is quite late right?
i'm still a virgin in the ass btw :)


so yeah, i'm thinking that it all started too early for me.
idk what happened.
or issit just normal for gays?

Back! :)

was talking to A and told him how bad i was at drawing...

decided to demo for him

can u guess what i was trying to draw? :)

and nope, not a cat.
scroll all the way down for the answer.


~
my trip was kinda boring cos i didnt have anyone my age to hang with. :(

the driving there is totally scary!

the driver will honk non-stop if the car in front is blocking his path and he'd stay in the middle of the road while trying to overtake the cars in front.

this occurs even if it's a narrow two-way road.

totally wtf. and taxi was ex like hell.

my hotel was quite far away from the city so there's no choice but to cab.

food was disappointing.

we had fast food for most of the meals.

except breakfast as it was complimentary buffet that came with the room. the usual kind.

the only good thing was that...

WE HAD A&W!

k it might not be such a big thing for malaysians/ ppl from other countries...

BUT SG HAS NO A&W!

my parents and i use to visit it when i was young.

i think my siblings werent born then.

they have the best float and waffle!

it was awesomeness to be able to taste it again.

okok im a little dramatic but the last time i had it was quite long ago when i visited klcc.

tuls/A u guys know wat to do for x'mas...

my address is ____

and make sure the ice-cream doesnt melt!

:)

~

i was super bimbotic on the trip.

-.-

firstly, because their currency is small, the notes have like tonnes of zeroes behind. (rupiah)

it's like super confusing and i am still unused to it.

then when paying for things, i'd take a long time to count the number of zeroes.

many a time, they'd just pick out one from my pile of notes and i wldnt even know if i was cheated.

:X

still got a few laugh at me lah wth.

i'm sure i'm not the only one with such problems ok.

hmph!

so many zeroes for fuck?!

then, i had my first massage experience.

i didnt know what to do ok.

so i lay down on the mattress (it was on the floor and curtained kind) fully-clothed.

-.-

she didnt speak much english ok and i was a greenhorn.

how was i to know i'd have to change into that little black shorts.

and i think i chose the wrong kind of massage.

they had thai/ aroma and i chose aroma when i had a blocked nose.

i didnt know what i was thinking.

i only had 1.5 hrs of massage and went shopping alone while my mom continued.

didnt have anything to buy cos the prices werent much of a diff :(

yes imma cheapskate

when we returned to the hotel, i decided to return to the room first as i was tired.

idk y i was fatigued throughout the whole trip.

but somehow, i couldnt get the door opened.

realised i was on the wrong floor in the end.

totally wtf.

and i saw a cute guy at breakfast today and i like omg finally an aj!

after having dinner, i realised he was holding a girl's hand.

gaydar's spoilt! :(

 (sidenote i took arnd 3 hours to complete this post. i started at 12 and between then and now i've watched 1 episode of vampire diaries, had a long chat with a classmate i usually do not talk to, c2c @ omegle.com, cooked and ate scrambled egg/spaghetti. yes i think i really do have an attention span of a goldfish wth...and this blog post is kinda crappy. oh well.)

(it's a frog if you still cant tell. fail @ drawing lah!)
to think i took art classes when i was young.

kiss? agar-agar?

mom: eh lmo, what does this mean?

(shows me her sms while covering the sender's info surreptitiously)

it showed:

:-*

me: er...idk. wait i ask my friend.

(i know i'm very dumb for not knowing what's that but i've never used it before!)

so i smsed AN and he replied: kiss lol

i was like omg!

wo ma zai gao wai yu?!

(my mom's committing adultery?!)

can't be from my dad.

he barely knows how to use punctuation in smses.

neither does he show his emotions.

never have i heard him once saying "ily".

i really don't want to know.

the kay-poh me feels like snooping, but i shan't invade her privacy right?

or maybe i really do have an overactive imagination.

~

 another funny convo.

so i went to my grams for dinner, she made cai yan/agar agar/ jelly.

tried and found it too sweet.

oh well.

it's really sweet if i find it ok!

i've a sweet tooth.

my favourite old-people-food.

-it's solid honey(?) and powdered-peanut wrapped in a pohpiah skin.

anw, my bro brought his terrapin over for my gram's maid to take care in his absence.

we're heading over to some nearby country for holidays.

(yes we're poor. other families are going to egypt/ europe etc etc and i'm jealous. i havent seen snow before ok! i'm so deprived.)

i'll be back on monday. miss me k? :D 

this means i've to sleep early tonight and wake up early tml. great!

so she was asking: how much to feed?

bro: er...agar agar lah!

maid, exclaiming: HUH IT CAN EAT AGAR AGAR?!

whole family burst out in laughter.

:)

oh in case of language barriers, agar agar is a slang for estimate. it also means jelly.

Dear Santa

x'mas is just round the corner.

i'm not asking for much this year.

i just want...

1

perfect, loving man
to plant a kiss on my forehead before caressing me to sleep.

 preferably above 1.8m tall and has defined collar and pelvic bone.
:)

Shop and dine with HFC

i wanted to swim today. seriously.

i've told myself i needed to slim down before the school term starts.

i really need to lose weight!

so i prepped myself up and left the house.

before that, i was contemplating if i shld leave a little later.

the sun was scorching!

and i'm alr tanned enough.

but guess what. right when i was about to reach the swimming complex,

it started storming.

like wtf. there were thunder and lightning.

was super disappointed lah. 

luckily HFC called.

cos i asked earlier if he wanted to swim with me but he said he'd prefer jogging.

so i was like, ok then imma go alone and got on the bus.

midway, he called and said, "there's no way i'm going to run in this humid condition"

(it rained previously over at his area but stopped)
me: oh ok then i shall go to ur place and swim

when taking the mrt over, he called, "eh i think the rain is coming back"

FML

yep, so we spent the evening walking around the mall instead.

walked past Mc's.

they've new sundae flavour! 

LOL

i got reminded of tuls's food fight.

was the sundae you refused to eat like that?

ok lah idk, i didn't like the taste.

it's green apple flavoured.

hot fudge is still the nicest!

but still, it's good to try new food ok!

i think i'd try to eat insects once.

it'll be fun!

but only those that are deep-fried without foul tastes?

saw this at the supermarket.

it's really baby crabs deep-fried and seasoned.

cute right?!

idk if it's cruel.

but i wanted to try it!

didnt buy cos i was poor and it was freaking $5.50 per pack.

rowr

~

it has been long since i've dinnered with HFC.

we used to go for dinner every weekend and it's awesome.

he's like super hilarious.

apparently, he li jia chu zuo-ed (ran away from home) last weekend or smth.

and he spent the whole night outside...sleeping in a bus-stop.

he is damn da dan can?!

i'd have died if i had sleep on the streets.

if not because of the lizards in the bus-stops, i'd die of embarrassment.

idk about you, but i'll never mistreat myself like that.

if i were to run away from home, i will make sure i've enough cash for me to book a hotel room.

since young, i've always been...narcissistic?

in the sense that i'd always want the best for myself.

so whenever i've quarrelled with my parents and i'm angry at them,

i would not go on a hunger strike like some idiots do. :X

i'd order the most expensive thing there is at the hawker centre, which would most of the time be those cheapo jap food.

incur my wrath? 

pay for it! literally.

(and yes, that explains my fats)

anw guess what was the reason HFC ran out?

HFC's father: EH ___(hfc's sister) sings really well!

HFC's mom: of course lah! she's from choir leh...

dad: but HFC oso wat...

then it escalated into some big quarrel in the car before he threw his phone in the car and ran off?!

HFC even hurled vulgarities at them?

and you know what? HIS MOM JOINED IN!

mom: eh dont think i dunno how to swear. FUCK YOUR PENIS.

we were having dinner and i HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

like seriously.

people stared at me and i had to cover my mouth to stop laughing.

:)  he's awesome.

and HFC if u are reading this, can u like stop running away from home?

(the last time i heard he ran away without slippers. -.-)

and if u really have to, bring ur phone and call me ok...dun stay outside alone!