frivolous?

 i just talked to a friend who's in ns currently.

we havent chatted for a long time cos of my exams and his ns, i found out he still likes the same straight guy.

cute/hot/nice straight guys are really curses to gays.

it's the one of the most depressing thing to hearing friends rant about how much they like that straightie and about how distressed they feel as the apple of their eyes would never reciprocate.

the only thing more saddening than that is to actually fall for a straightie yourself.

i have always had more than one crushes.

it's as if i'm unable to control my heart/brain.

so while my HFC/ panda have been crushing on their same respective guy for the past year or so, i've had countless.

frivolous?

maybe.

i admit, i do get bored easily.

BUT,

those are just crushes/eyecandies.

i've not really fallen for anyone of them...as they are all straight and my brain tells me that it'll be pointless and heartbreaking if i fall too deeply.

(i'm not saying ppl like them are brainless...just that their "heart" rules and dominates instead. 

ok lah i've to agree with slut that the heart is just an organ to carry out circulation. 

for feelings, attraction, love, it should be controlled by a certain part of the brain while pragmatic thoughts by another?)

whatever it is, i've always found it easy to suppress my feelings just by rationalising.

i don't think there aren't many guys that will make me fall heads over heels for them.

i really don't know.

sometimes, i believe that i'm unable to stay faithful for long.

i really hope not.

as much as i believe change is a necessity,

as easily bored as i get,

i really want that guy to be a constant in my life,

wherever and whenever he may appear.

sometimes when reading and immersing myself in the overwhelming sweetness of the actions/words tuls and bubu bestow each other with, there's that small but piercing tinge of sourness.

dont get me wrong, i love their blogs and i'm happy for them.

it's just...

I WANT MINE.

hehehehe

~

soprano voices truly impresses me